Hearts

 

Just in time for Valentines day, my cousin took part in the amazing Chain Link Heart project.
I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like not to have A.
I can't imagine what it would have been like to never bring her home from the hospital, all those hopes and dreams you have as your belly swells, just disappearing, lost.
I cannot imagine how hard it would be to begin to to get back up again. 
Which is why I greatly admire people like Jen. Their bravery and their creativity, and their ability to find beauty from the saddest of situations, astounds and inspires me. 
Happy valentines to all those who have loved and lost, who walk around each day with a part of their heart missing, and somehow still see magic and magnificence, who still get up each day ready to love and live again.  I am sure somehow, somewhere, someone will give you what you need to feel almost whole again. 
And as for me, this Valentines, I will hold my daughter and husband close, and be grateful that I am blessed enough to have two beautiful people holding my heart together.

Happy Valentines
*k*

Musings on Motherhood

Have I mentioned I have a BA in Art History and Anthropology? Well I do. And it is my anthropological background that I think gives me the strength to question and analyse the expectations of both me and my child by the world at large. 

I don't want this blog to become a mummy blog (nothing wrong with them, I follow several, (hank and lucy, the artful parent, and Kate Subrosa  (who unfortunately has stopped blogging) and began to well before the arrival of my little one).  In fact I want to use it to save me from being someone who can only talk about children and parenting - to remind me there is a wider world out there, but this blog, for me, is a 'scrapbook of things I find interesting' and therefore sometimes it will be about Mum stuff.

So as I struggle with the multiple options of sleep and settling, feeding, routine and try and make the decisions that may or may not impact my child and her world views, I find myself both seeking, and  ignoring advice from various quarters. 
I want to follow my heart when i comes to my daughter, it is my duty to insure she sees me following my instincts and beliefs, rather than following the norm and second guessing myself.  But at the same time the pressure not to 'create a rod for my own back' makes me read and read and read some more in order to feel more confident about my choices.
With the wealth of information on the multiple parenting 'theories' (no matter how contradictory, most are supposedly endorsed by 'experts' or 'proven' by science) I kept thinking of what other societies did when it came to parenting so I got off the parenting websites and looked at anthropological ones.  I have found them fascinating, but like all parenting advise you need to keep in mind what the motives of the author is. 

I will not sit here and offer parenting advise.  All parents should follow there own hearts, gut feelings and logic.  All parents intend to do the best they can for their children and i don't believe there is a right answer, but that we should do what is right for us, and our own developing families. 

However, if like me you want explore the wonderful diversity of motherhood and child rearing here are some sites I found interesting.

How They Do It  a cross cultural comparrisen on baby zone

AnthropoChildren is a mothers perspective in the feild.  Not in depth but peaked my interest and I will look into reading more of her material if I can hunt it down.

Motherlands An anthropological and Literary resource on becoing a parent in the age of globalisation

The Role of Cultural Factors in Human Breastfeeding: Adaptive Behaviour or Biopower ?

Trends in American Child Rearing

Other websites I think may be worth reading by parents, and almost parents 

Purple Crying about how crying is normal - which can come as a relief to many

Kelly Mom loads of advice on feeding, sleeping and other subjects as well.

Essential Baby the forums are great for getting a opinions and ideas from mums who have been there dont that, or are going through the same sort of thing.  Can be good for getting multiple veiwpoints on a subject.

Its a Beautiful World...

It has been a crazy insane start to 2011, Queensland, Christchurch and now Japan - awful, horrendous and heartbreaking Japan... But even when catastrophe isn't rocking the world people live in poverty and desperation while others live in (sometimes disturbing) excess. James Mollison's photography project 'Where Children Sleep' illustrates this in its documentation the different lives of children around the world through their bedrooms or lack thereof.  You can see the book online (here). 
This book, perhaps more so than the tragic images of Australia, New Zealand and Japan, left me feeling that I need to be more grateful for what I have, to give more generously (not just when tragedy makes me feel guilty), to celebrate the little things, to be happy, and to live a beautiful life. 
(Image by James Mollison of the Bedroom of Hamdi, a child in a Palestinian refugee camp, found via Etsy)

Wishing you all a rich, rewarding and beautiful day!

*K*

Paths to Abstraction {Reveiw}

We went to Sydney this weekend for the international soccer tournament.  It was fun - I'm not a soccer fan but the atmosphere was amazing! And as an added bonus I even got to see a couple of galleries... We hit the Art Gallery of NSW and saw the permanent collection - which has a fantastic breadth of movements and eras.  But we were really there for the temporary exhibition Paths to Abstraction... It was OK.... I was a little disappointed by the scope of the show but it was still very interesting!  I'm not sure it was worth the $20 but perhaps that's cause I've been spoilt enough to see some of Europe's leading galleries... Maybe not... Have you seen it? What did you think?

Image from Wikipedia by David Illif

Home (or counting ones blessing's)

I love this song! Its so cute... and it gets me thinking, you know, bout home! 
Home to me will always be NZ, but its also wherever my hubby is, which is why I'm here in Aus... And while I would love to move my little family (dog, boy, me) back to NZ, some times I have to remind myself to be happy here and now - so my career path is non existent, sometimes I just really want my Mum, or my god mum, or my old friends around, and sometimes I just miss the places - Wellington, Gisborne, Ohiwa, the special places.  But I have a super amazing husband who puts up with my annual hissy fits on the above subjects, we own a house and its becoming a home, our pup is the funniest, sweetest natured beast one could meet, its never to late to re-invent oneself career wise (once one figures what path will suite them), and my family, my friends, those amazing places will always be there - I'll always be able to go home... So this is a reminder, a perk up and a pep talk!!

my wedding flowers, photo by the talented Clare Webber

I think I'm quite lucky to have such a strong sense of place.  My parents have lived in our house since forever, it was my Dad's Grandfathers place so its seeped in family history.  My mums brother owns the farm she grew up on and before that both her parents grew up on the property - her mum, my gran - was a shepherds daughter and Grandfather was the owners son (it has a makings of a sweet meant to be story don't you think).  We got married 2 minutes down the road from my parents property and had our  photos taken in their wool shed - connecting my past and my future.  I am so lucky to have places so filled with memories and history.

And now I will have two beautiful unique and amazing countries I can consider home...
So I count my blessings, and the wonderful invention of skype!!!

Bless!

(from Wikipedia, attributed to Erik Veland)

Autumn

The natropath asked me the other day what my favorite season was and I was hard pressed to decide between Autumn and Spring.  Over in Aus (well at least in my part of Melbourne) most gardens are dominated by evergreen trees - gums etc so I miss the colour Autumn can bring (my parents front fence was planted with liquid amber's - Autumn blazed!). 

So now I guess if I had to choose it would be Spring first and then Autumn.  However I'm really enjoying the crisp chilly weather and the moment - my morning walks with ze dog really leave me feeling all pink cheeked and enthusiastic about the day ahead (until I realise he chewed up my black heels at some stage in the early hours of the morning... and then my good feelings for the day ahead plummet rapidly...)
...the other exciting thing about autumn is garden wise you can start dreaming about spring!  I have tulip bulbs sitting in my fridge which I will plant this weekend, in a big pot by the front door and then wait patiently...

(images Rococo Parrot tulip and Evita double tulip from here, I ordered my bulbs from here)
Now I cant wait for Spring!!